Heart of Faerie: What is my Question?

Today I asked the faeries to give me a message I needed to hear. What I got was a riddle, which is the way the faeries like to answer questions sometimes. I would say that a riddle is the last thing I need right now, but maybe it's just the thing I need. Riddles are interesting and mysterious. I can see myself up for a good mystery.

In the center is my favorite card of the deck. The Question. I love the creature in this deck. He and the boy with him are also featured together in another card (my other favorite). Instead of giving me a message, the faeries are asking me a question. What is it I want to know? What is my Question? And to that, I can only say I don't know. Right now, I feel a bit disconnected from my life. My daughter's ER visit through me for a loop, and it took me days to calm my nerves about it. On top of that, or exacerbated by that, I feel disjointed from my life right now. I feel like there's a question I need an answer to, but I don't know what that question is. So right now, the question is, "What question do I need to be asking?" This reminded me of a quote that I love by Rainer Maria Rilke, which I'm sure I have quoted here before (the bold is my doing):

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.

So even without a question, I find this series of thoughts comforting and inspiring. For, without a question to love, I have yet this question: What is my question? and that is the inquiry I need to live and love at this moment. The desire for a question.

The Lady of Leprechauns has been popping up a lot for me in my readings with this deck. In one hand she holds a crystal ball, and in the other... a mask with a crystal point where the third eye would be. She's asking me if I would rather be able to see into the future, or to know the present with crystal clarity. Do I want to know what's awaiting me in the near future, or do I want to know more about what is going on around me right now? Thing is, this Lady's arms are crossed... she's not handing out the options in a straightforward manner. Instead, she has mixed up the two offerings, and holds them with her arms crossed, making it seem like a trick. The leprechauns are tricky folk, and not entirely trustworthy. What she's doing reminds me of the Battle of Wits scene from the Princess Bride (see below). Both choices are a trick. So this is telling me that right now, I should be focused on neither of these options as questions to ask myself.

So, while I am no closer to discovering my question, I can rule out the future and the present. What does that leave me but the past? I try my darnedest not to live in the past. I like to let it stay where it belongs... in the rear view mirror. But maybe there is something I need to resolve that is still lingering in my life. Something that is holding me back from living the fullest present and future that I can. Even though I don't feel like I live in the past, perhaps there is something that I have not yet let go of, and I am unconscious of how this is still affecting me.

I look to the first card for more insight, and I don't get very far. In Two Minds can't make a decision to save his life. It's no use asking him anything. He's the master of indecision. He's both Yes and No. Right and Wrong. Go and Stop. I can see that I won't get anywhere with him. And that's what he's telling me. I'm not getting anywhere. Bingo! I was right! There's something stopping me from getting where I need to go. I'm stuck, and the key to this stagnancy involves something in my past that I am still clinging to.

Very interesting. This reading took me to places I least expected them to today. So I am still facing a riddle, but I have more clues on where to look for the answer. Or the question, I should say. Then the answer. I love, love, love the faeries. Bless Brian Froud's heart.

Here's the scene from The Princess Bride, which I was reminded of by the deceiving offering of the Lady of Leprechauns:

Deck: The Heart of Faerie (by Brian and Wendy Froud, published by Abrams Books)

~ Kiki
Tarot Dame

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